Society Says We're Unemployable Misfits




Welcome to Professional Idiots! We are far from a conventional company and will never be one.  

Instead, we are a small group of open-minded, free-spirited individuals who live life on our terms. We don't allow society to judge us, and we don't judge others. 

We allow each person to be creative and express themselves how they see fit. This means dressing how they like, not being afraid to speak what's on their mind, and developing a system that works for them. For example, if you need a 10ft Buda to pray to each day, we'll find one for you - (freak)
Are you inked up? Great, let's compare ink. Do you have a 3-inch nose ring? Sweet, bring it. Are you Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, or Transgender? Amazingly fabulicious, come work with us.

We are a group of people who don't like being controlled, we work till five but happy hour starts at four, massive conflict, so to fix that, we now drink at work.  We seek to bring on open-minded people who are just as much an idiot as we are. If you get offended easily or at all, this is not the place for you.

FYI: This team of idiots has managed to quadruple our sales in each of our first two years in business, 2020-2021 & 2021-2022 YTD. So who're the Idiots now?


Chief Idiot
Professional Idiots

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Do You Have What It Takes to be a Professional Idiot?

Well, let's see, extra points to anyone who can say any of the following applies to you:


You once gave your father "the talk".

You brought a knife to a gunfight...

just to even the odds.

Panhandlers give you money.

Sharks have a week 

dedicated to you.

You live vicariously through yourself.

If opportunity knocks, and you're not home, opportunity waits.

Mosquitoes refuse to bite you

purely out of respect.

You are left-handed. And right-handed.

 You once flirted with danger, and danger got clingy.

You taught Chuck Norris martial arts.

Your business card simply says “I’ll call you.

You taught a German

Shepard to bark in French.

You have won the lifetime 

achievement award… twice.

 You never wear a watch because time is always on your side.

(If you can say yes to any of the above, then we want you on our team for sure!)

Take Note:

We are looking to only work with the bomb-diggity. Someone that learns from us as much as we learn from them. Someone we will be proud to say is a part of our family and will play a large role in pushing Professional Idiots forward. 

I am your homey, what next?  Click here to see our current openings.


After three appeals for the name being too offensive, the state of Colorado finally gave me my IDIOTS plates!!!

But really, it's meant for the people behind me reading it, idiots! hahaha

If I had a quarter for each time I caught someone taking a picture of my plate, I would be rich by now.