Badass Administrative Assistant

Position: Full-Time
Location: Castle Rock

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The 411

At Professional Idiots, we're seeking an open-minded badass administrative assistant to join our team of idiots and help us manage and grow our company. We are seeking someone who is a creative thinker. Someone who can think outside the box like the rest of us. 

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Here is a perfect example of thinking outside the box. 

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When I was a teen, I wanted to mail this letter to a girl I liked, but at the time, I did not have any postage stamps. So to solve this problem, I reversed the sender's and receiver's names on the envelope. Basically, I used my name and address as the "mail to" and her name and address as the "return to".   I dropped it in the mailbox without postage, of course, and what happens when you mail something without a stamp? They return it to the sender, Bingo, mail delivered.

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Wait, I think I just admitted to committing fraud against the United States Postal Service. Oh well. 

That's the ideal person we are seeking.   Someone who can be creative in their thinking to come up with solutions to solve challenging problems.

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Mad skillz required​

• Excellent writing skills (you won the Nobel Prize in literature (twice))

• You have a vision (you can see more than just dead people)

• You can manage ten things at once (you are left-handed and right-handed)

• You are amazing at solving problems (Ukraine sought you to help them avoid a war, but you could not agree on financial terms)

• You are loyal and trustworthy (In museums, you are allowed to touch the art)

• You don't take no for an answer (when someone says no to you, you just smile because that's exactly what you were expecting)

 

We offer some kick-ass benefits 

• Private office in Castle Rock

• Company-paid medical, vision, and dental (coming soon)

• Five paid sick days each year 

• Two weeks of paid vacation per year (after your 1st year)

• We offer more paid days off than any other company in America. (18 paid holidays)