Meet the team of Idiots

JONAS

Chief Idiot

Castle Rock, Colorado

I am the mastermind behind Professional Idiots; my main job is to make sure plenty of booze is on hand to keep the other idiots coming into the office each day.

What am I most proud of?

My lovemaking has been detected by seismographs.

NAOMI
Ball and Chains

Detroit, Michigan

All I do is say no to everything. Keeping these idiots out of prison for the stupid ideas they come up with is a full-time job, like landing a drone on the runway at Denver international airport, um - no.

What am I most proud of?

I made a weeping willow laugh.

MORNING
Chief of Content

Parker, Colorado

It's my job to research topics and write about them. I can pump articles like it's nobody's business. 98% of all my articles get indexed by Google, and that's what it's all about.

What am I most proud of?

I once won a staring contest with my own reflection.

BRANDON

Marketing Guru

Las Vegas, Nevada

It's my job to figure out how to market all these websites and do it in a way that will make the sites grow stupidly fast. I do this by creating a gradual, slight, imperceptible change in one’s behavior and perception.

What am I most proud of?

My shadow has been on the ‘best dressed’ list twice.

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LAURA

Lead Moderator

Pueblo, Colorado

I'm the lead moderator; it's my job to bounce idiot members from our site who don't follow the rules of our social network. You can look at me as the chief of police.

What am I most proud of?
I won the world series of poker using UNO cards.

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DMITRY

The Mad Ukrainian

Kyiv, Ukraine

I was hired to code shit. I have over 18 years of advanced coding experience, and there is nothing I can't do when it comes to coding. I code best when I'm not under a missile attack from Russia.

What am I most proud of?
While sailing around the world, I discovered a shortcut.